surviving the walk-out

So tonight someone walked out of my yoga class, for the first time. It was in the first 15 minutes. I was subbing for someone else for a vinyasa class at a gym I’d never taught at before, and was taking a bit of extra time to warm up as it was so cold outside! I had the students doing dips, and moving from downdog to high plank and back, after doing some gentle twists and forward bends, before getting them into sun salutes part of the class.  My beloved Yeah Yeah Yeahs was playing in the background, though not all that loudly. Suddenly I was interrupted in the middle of my instructions by the lady closest to me who announced to me that she didn’t like the class, the pacing, the music or my voice, “It’s everything,” she said and totally caught me off guard, adding, “I’m sorry but it’s just not yoga.” I think I may have made a surprised sound before instructing the class to go into child’s pose, and I was going to have a word to the lady. She went into child’s pose as well, so I continued on momentarily and then there was a knock at the door. A man had stepped in from the street to enquire about the gym which was closed, so I quickly tended to him and came back in, to see the lady rolling up her mat and going to leave, looking very much “not happy Jan.”

With my heart in my mouth, I continued teaching, having to go into downward-facing dog for a full five breaths along with my students, as now my voice was quivering and I started to worry that there would be a mass walk-out. I realized I was just creating a drama in my head and that the class had to go on as if nothing happened. I tried to adjust my voice so that I sounded more ‘yoga-like’, speak a little bit quieter, slower and turned the music down! Was I speaking too loud?

The class flowed on, and by the end hearing laughter erupt from students falling out of half moon pose showed me that everything was more than okay. After the class, a few people thanked me and said they enjoyed the class and came up to have a chat, and no-one mentioned anything about the lady that walked out (or my voice). Perhaps they hadn’t noticed?

Not having experienced this before, especially as a fairly new teacher, I have come to the conclusion that not everyone is going to like me or the way I teach. It’s not personal, even though it seems it. My reaction is everything. It brings up my insecurities; that I am not a good teacher, that I am not yet ‘yoga’ enough to teach, etc. While there may be some truth in that and I am a newbie, I KNOW that I am a sincere teacher, that I respect and honour yoga and that I love teaching. I know there are always improvements to be made, such as reading the energy of the class and mayyybe not playing rock music in a regular yoga class ;-)
And in the words of Le Tigre, “Keep on Livin’” and teaching!